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Star Trek: Generations II, Chapter 1: “Two Producers, One Destiny”

Written by Jason Reichstetter

Rick Berman has taken Guinan’s advice and entered a phenomenon called the Nexus, to seek out a legendary producer from the past to help out with Voyager’s plunging ratings.

Berman: (Enters the Nexus, where a figure can be seen churning out script upon script in an office building) You! Roddenberry. Gene Roddenberry.

Roddenberry: Do I know you? (Looks over at Berman) Do you mind?

Berman: What?

Roddenberry: (Points over to a stack of blank sheets of paper. Berman walks over and hands Gene a sheet of the paper. Gene places it into the typewriter.)

Berman: I’m from what you would call the future. 1996.

Roddenberry: (Looks horrified) It’s Khan, isn’t it? He’s taken over the world and the Eugenics Wars are overtaking the Earth.

Berman: Um, no. I’m a producer on a Star Trek show. The ratings really suck and I was told to come here and get some help. But, I never imagined that the help would be from you.

Roddenberry: Why not? What type of Star Trek show are you a producer of?

Berman: It’s called Voyager. It’s about a ship stranded in the Delta Quadrant.

Roddenberry: (Puts his hand on his forehead, where there is a big bruise.) Delta Quadrant? I haven’t invented any show based in the Delta Quadrant.

Berman: No. I did that. I was trying to defecate on the Original Series and figured that would be the best way to do it. You know, to completely contradict everything you’ve ever done.

Roddenberry: (Looks suspicious) I want to see this............. Voyager.

Berman: Well, it just so happens, I happen to have an episode with me right now. (Pulls a videotape out of his suit coat) This episode I’m immensely proud of. It’s called Threshold. (Berman inserts the tape into a VCR, and Roddenberry starts watching it. An hour later, the show ends)

Roddenberry: (Has a goofy expression on his face) What the hell was that?!?

Berman: That was Voyager.

Roddenberry: You’ve got to be joking. What the hell? The ship goes Warp 10 and people start turning into frigging lizards?

Berman: Well, it was originally my intention to have the mutant Janeway and Paris to have laser beams attached to their heads.

Roddenberry: And what is that god-awful noise in the background?

Berman: That I’m especially proud of. It’s what I call “wallpaper music.” Instead of having a riveting score for every episode, there is a bland sort of instrumental... noise coming from the background.

Roddenberry: (Looks at Berman) You have completely gone against everything I had ever intended for Star Trek.

Berman: (Smiles) Why, thank you!

Roddenberry: (The office dissolves around them and is replaced by a cliff, where there is fire all over the place, and a pool of liquid-hot magma down under the cliff. Gene’s suit changes over to a Greek toga) We’re going to battle it out.

Berman: What are you talking about?

Roddenberry: A real battle to determine the fate of Star Trek. (Punches Berman in the face)

Berman: Ow! (Bitch slaps Roddenberry in the face) You called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it!

Roddenberry: (Kicks Berman in the mommy-daddy button. Berman falls off the cliff face and is hanging on by two hands. Roddenberry offers Berman his hand) Give me your hand!

Berman: No, it’s over. I have a secret weapon. I’ve been training a young apprentice to take over for me in case anything should happen to me. Brannon Braga will be in charge of destroying Star Trek now.

Roddenberry: (Sits down on the ground and kicks Berman once in the face) I (kick) have... had (kick) enough of you! (kicks Berman in the face one more time and Berman falls into the liquid-hot magma) This has got to end. I’ve got to leave the Nexus.

Guinan: (Appears out of nowhere)

Roddenberry: Whoopi Goldberg? What are you doing here? I thought you were making direct-to-video movies back in Hollywood.

Guinan: I am. I’m also here. Time has no meaning in the Nexus, so if you leave, you can go anywhere, anytime.

Roddenberry: I know exactly where I want to go. There is a madman back at the Paramount offices. I have to stop him. I want to go back right before a show called Voyager goes on the air.

Guinan: All you have to do is click your heels together three times and say, “There’s no place like home.”

Roddenberry: All right. But I’ll need help. Will you go back with me?

Guinan: I can’t. I’m there already, remember? I’m filming a direct-to-video movie starring Jeff Fahey, Robert Beltran, and Sidney Poitier. But I know someone who can help you. His name is Ira Steven Behr. You must seek him out. He will help you.

Roddenberry: Okay. I’m going. (Gene clicks his heels together three times and disappears.

This page was last modified on Wednesday, July 04, 2012.