By law, we are required to follow the US Truth in Advertising Laws.
8:00: Arrive early and stand in line, being subject to inane trivia questions from other fans such as “Who is better: Kirk or Picard?”
11:00: We pretend that we’re going to open on schedule, but spend an extra 30 minutes making last-minute adjustments that, as any professionally-organized convention company would tell you, are taken care of well in advance.
11:30: Doors finally open.
11:35: Fill out address cards that should have been done before entering, thus saving everyone more irritation.
11:45: Creator’s music video salute to The Founders.
12:00: Behind the scenes of the never-before-aired 1960s British sci-fi TV series Lord Mountbatten’s Mystery Science Tea Time.
12:35: Sci-fi movie preview!! Listen to people tell you all the cool stuff you’ve already heard if you’ve lived in the 21st century for the past year.
1:00: Creator’s music video salute to Toral, Son of Duras.
1:20: Preview presentation of the possible plot for the brand new Star Trek TV series that may begin production in late 1996. Any good ideas will not be turned down.
1:45: Creator’s music video salute to the guy that was sitting next to Morn at Quark’s Bar in the “Blood Oath” episode of DS9.
2:00: Creator’s trivia competition. Win valuable prizes trying to answer inane, pointless, and just plain stupid questions offered from people who better their time looking for The Ultimate Star Trek Trivia Question to stump even die-hard fans.
2:30: Intermission. Go for lunch, shop the dealer’s room, call a friend, shop the dealer’s room, take snapshots of the city, did we mention to shop the dealer’s room?
3:00: Creator’s music video salute to Captain Rixx.
3:20: Costume contest!! No matter how good your Borg or Romulan outfit is, watch someone win top prize after buying the Instant Starfleet outfit, available at any toy store (or in our dealers room), thus making mortal enemies of anyone who had an original thought and the creativity to make the costume from scratch.
3:35: Creator’s music video salute to Admiral Cartwright.
3:45: Creator’s Star Trek auction with no minimum bids! Buy the same junk you can find in the dealer’s room, only at greatly inflated suggested retail prices!
4:00: Patrick Stewart has canceled, so instead we bring you Kevin Brown, who played the Cardassian Prison Guard in the TNG episode “Chain of Command.”
4:40: Autographs with Kevin at location TBA. Not everyone will get an autograph since his flight leaves in 30 minutes, so it’s every man for himself. Please run like an idiot, knocking down the handicapped, women, and children to get as close to the front of the line as possible. Then get back in line for another autograph, you petaQ.
5:00: Scheduling anything else past the autograph session is pointless, as people have gotten what they really came for. Did you notice the dealer’s room is still open?
NOTE: Your ticket does not guarantee an autograph or our thanks for coming here.