The Trek Coronary

It all started with Cureboy’s hilarious parody of Star Trek: Voyager called The Voyager Coronary, which was one of the most popular features in the Fan Fiction Forum of the Trek BBS. These stories are based on the original Star Trek series, and are truly worthy of the Coronary name, and definitely have some of the funniest TOS parodies I’ve seen. From Kirk and his baseball bat to Fat Scotty and his “dead sexy body,” this one is guaranteed to make you laugh!

Disclaimer: The Trek Coronary and related stories are copyright © 2000-2001 “8 of 12,” and are reproduced with the permission of the author. Star Trek is a registered trademark of CBS Studios Inc. No copyright infringement is intended. This parody is for noncommercial purposes only. Read the complete legal notice for more information.

This parody is rated: AH: Absolutely Hysterical!!! Readers are advised to visit the restroom before reading this parody.
Chapter 1: “Balance of Timing”
Evil Vulcans attack the Federation border in an invisible ship; Kirk practices the skill of being “fashionably late.”
Chapter 2: “Shagging on the Mind”
Kirk agrees to go on an away mission when Spock sends a good-looking yeoman with him; a mysterious man named Van-GAHH!!! appears on the Enterprise.
Chapter 3: “Space Shag”
Khan is rescued by the Enterprise, and conspires with Fat Scotty to steal Captain Kirk’s mojo; meanwhile, Kirk tries desperately to get laid.
Chapter 4: “Journey to Babe Hell”
Kirk saves the day again and learns to dance the Macarena. He doesn’t get laid, though.
Chapter 5: “Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...”
Our enterprising crew encounters the “Mirror Universe,” where Spock has that cool goatee, Fat Scotty is actually a nice person, and Kirk has his very own “captain’s woman”!
Chapter 6: “Wolves in the Folds of Fat”
While on shore leave at the planet Arkanellius... uh, Argentina... I mean Argelius II, Kirk and Spock try to solve the mystery of Isagul, a being who preys on the natives at night.
Chapter 7: “A Simple Glass of Water”
Kirk desperately needs something to do in between missions, so he takes on the Federation Bureaucracy in his search for a glass of water!