“Captain’s Log: Things have gone from worse to bad. Although Ducane is no longer godlike and trying to smite us all, he remains comatose in Sickbay. The Doctor has had no luck reviving him. Furthermore, the damage sustained in the battle with Ducane has stranded us next to the disabled Progeny vessel, which could come back to life any second. When that happens, the Progeny will no doubt set their diabolical plan to reinitiate my timeloop. Furthermost, Jadzia’s been reduced to a complete and total idiot, which oddly makes me the second most imbecilic person on the ship.”
“Boy, I’d sure hate to be that Jadzia person.”
“You are Jadzia.”
“Damar? How go the repairs?”
“Not good, sir. I don’t have the necessary parts to fix the hyperwarp drive.”
“So we’re stuck out here?”
“Unless we go raid the Progeny ship for parts.”
“Yes, let’s all go over to the ship that’s populated by superpowerful noncorporeal aliens and steal technology that we know absolutely nothing about.”
“No need to be so sarcastic, sir.”
“Sarcastic? I was being serious.”
“And just how are we supposed to do that, sir?”
“How the heck would I know? I’m the second most imbecilic person on the ship! Don’t you ever listen to the Captain’s Logs?”
About half an hour later, the senior staff walked into Braxton’s office. Xaronna smiled. “I think we’ve got a plan to raid the Progeny ship, sir.”
Braxton asked, “We’re going to raid the Progeny ship?”
Xaronna rubbed her temples. “Now I know why we have Ducane deal with him most of the time... Yes, you ordered us to come up with a plan to raid the Progeny ship! Where’s your brain?!”
To which Dax replied, “Brain and brain! What is brain?!”
Xaronna attempted to continue. “We beam over while the Progeny’s shields are still down and we take the ‘Blow Up Noncorporeal Aliens’ weapon with us to defend ourselves if the Progeny attack.”
Braxton thought for a few seconds. “Why does that sound so familiar... Wait, that big stupid thing that I had to lug around last year to defeat the Gorgan?”
“Why not just fire the weapon at their ship before you beam over? It’ll save you the time and effort of having to disconnect it from the ship again and carry it around.”
Yar scowled. “Because Starfleet has a stupid rule about not attacking the defenseless.”
Braxton nodded. “Yeah... Then why not just keep the weapon here and we’ll fire it if you run into trouble?”
Xaronna answered, “Because if the Progeny get their shields operational, it won’t be able to help us at all. And because it’ll eliminate the comedic value of having to lug it around. Anyway, once we’re aboard, we’ll tap into the Progeny’s systems to find the parts we need.”
Braxton interrupted again. “And how exactly are you going to do that? They don’t have any interfaces, since they just phase into the ship itself.”
“Which is why we’re going to use... The Doctor! Since he’s a hologram, he can phase himself partially into the ship and access its systems. We’ll upload the latest Starfleet cryptology programs and firewalls into his mobile emitter to prevent the Progeny from possibly taking control of him.”
“Sounds like a well thought-out plan, considering how you’ve taken half the episode explaining it. Dismissed!”
Several minutes later, Damar, Yar, and the Doctor beamed over to the Progeny vessel. Being a vessel designed for noncorporeal beings, there weren’t many spaces big enough for humanoid life. Therefore, they wound up beaming into the room from the previous episode where Braxton was being held. Yar had the “Blow Up Noncorporeal Aliens” weapon in tow, floating along on an antigrav device.
The room was rather dark. As the team flipped on their wrist-mounted flashlight thingies, Damar commented, “I guess lighting isn’t a priority for them...”
Yar aimed her flashlight at the freaky-looking device the Progeny had attempted to throw Braxton into. “You think this is the thing they were going to use on the captain?”
The Doctor stepped up to it. “Only one way to find out.”
And with that, he phased his arm into it. Damar and Yar kept a lookout. After a minute, Damar asked, “Well?”
The Doctor looked quite lost in thought, although he did respond. “Sorry, it took a bit for the universal translator to interface properly with the device, but I’ve got it now. Yes, this is what they were going to use.”
Yar whipped out a phaser rifle. “You want I should blow it up?”
“Not yet. You know that temporal profile the Progeny spent last season putting together? It’s uploaded to this device! I’m downloading it now; we may find it useful in countering the Progeny’s plans later on. There, I’m done. Fire away.”
Yar zapped the device several times for good measure, reducing it to a pile of melted metal.
Damar said, “If you’re done with that thing, perhaps you can start looking for parts to repair the ship?”
The Doctor nodded and stuck his hand into the wall. “Let’s see... This ship’s in pretty bad shape. Ducane blew just about every power relay. It looks like they’re devoting their resources towards getting shields back up.”
“What about their transporters?”
“Online, but just barely. Looks like they’re not bothering kidnapping the captain back until they can get shields online.”
“Then use the transporter to beam the parts we need here.”
“You got it. Wait... I think they’ve noticed me.”
Yar got behind the weapon and started waving it about wildly. “Prepare for attack!”
Seconds later, one of the Progeny stuck their heads out of the wall and into the room. Oh, it’s you.
Yar pointed the unwieldy weapon directly at him. “Don’t move!”
The Progeny inspected the weapon. Hmm... A crude anti-noncorporeal weapon. Rather big to be carrying around, though, don’t you think?
The Progeny’s gaze moved towards the melted alien device. The only thing you’ve managed is to get lucky. Do you have any idea of the astronomical odds of your galactic barrier affecting a member of your crew?
Damar raised an eyebrow in typical Vulcan fashion. “So you know about that, hmm?”
After the fact. A miscalculation on our parts. And you’ve destroyed our temporal profile manipulator. Bravo. If you’re looking for parts to repair your vessel...
The necessary parts materialized on the floor.
...take them and leave.
“You’re just letting us go?”
I wouldn’t say that. With the manipulator destroyed and our vessel nearly wrecked, we are unable to complete our mission. It will take us some time to complete enough repairs to return home and send another ship out, but it will take you far longer to reach Federation space with your paltry hyperwarp drive. We will catch up with you long before then, and then your captain will be made to pay for what he has done. Until then...
And with that, the Progeny phased back into the wall.
Damar scooped up the parts. “Well, let’s go fix our ‘paltry’ engines...”
“Captain’s Log, Supplemental: Damar has completed repairs to the engines, and we have set a course back to the Milky Way Galaxy. We may not be able to make it home before the Progeny return, but at least we’ve bought ourselves some more time to come up with another plan...”
On the next quasi-exciting episode, the Relativity crew improbably runs into someone who can get them home... a very creepy someone.