Episode 23: “The Great Recap”
Written by “Krenim”
Published March 6, 2001
- Episode 1: “When Tribbles Attack, Part I”
- The series begins by introducing Captain Braxton (who suffers from extreme temporal psychosis), Lt. Ducane (the poor sap who has to put up with Braxton), and the “Living Witness” Doctor, who all serve aboard the Federation Timeship Relativity. Captain Braxton, in his infinite stupidity, lets his three temporal clones (Old Captain Braxton, Young Psycho Braxton, and Old Psycho Braxton) escape aboard the Aeon.
- Episode 2: “When Tribbles Attack, Part II”
- Back in the 23rd Century, Captain Sulu (who has an obnoxious habit of reminding people that he is the captain), Valtane (who may or may not be alive), and Rand are serving aboard the Excelsior, protecting the tribble homeworld from a Klingon attack. The Aeon appears to steal some tribbles, and the Relativity is in hot pursuit. The Braxton Bunch steal the tribbles and get away. Captain Sulu is taken aboard the Relativity as an expert on tribbles, and not-so-lifelike replicant is left in his place.
- Episode 3: “When Tribbles Attack, Part III”
- In the 24th Century, the Aeon appears in the Delta Quadrant, and the Braxton Bunch sets in motion their evil plan to destroy Voyager. The Relativity also appears, but the Braxton Bunch get away again. The Relativity crew works with the Voyager crew to figure out what the Braxton Bunch’s evil plan is before the ship is destroyed. Back in the 23rd Century, the Excelsior retreats when the Klingon fleet arrives, and the tribble homeworld is destroyed.
- Episode 4: “When Tribbles Attack, Part IV”
- While the Excelsior crew waste time waiting for their captain to return, the Braxton Bunch’s evil plan is revealed: The tribbles mutate into murderous ex-guest stars! Voyager is saved.
- Episode 5: “Whose Series Is It, Anyway?”
- While the Braxton Bunch struggle to come up with a new evil plan, the Relativity crew joins the Voyager crew for a victory feast. The Excelsior crew get fed up with the Sulu-replicant, and phaser it into nonexistence before traveling through time to find the real Sulu. Seven of Nine uses Borg nanoprobes to build an implant in Braxton’s brain that prevent him from repeating everything everyone says. Sulu and Braxton argue over whose series it really is, and the Excelsior shows up to back him up. The question is resolved when they see which ship the camera follows, and it is determined the series is Braxton’s. Sulu quits as the Excelsior captain to become the Relativity’s helmsman, and Valtane and Rand swear revenge against both him and Braxton.
- Episode 6: “A Recruiting We Will Go, Part I”
- While the Braxton Bunch still struggles to come up with a new evil plan, the Mysterious Red Button tries to get Sulu to push him. Needing more officers, Braxton and Ducane decide to pluck Jadzia (without the Dax symbiont), Gul Dukat, Tasha Yar, and Kes from the past. Rand and Valtane decide to find the Braxton Bunch so Old Captain Braxton can be their new captain.
- Episode 7: “A Recruiting We Will Go, Part II”
- Braxton and Ducane use the temporal transporter to bring their new senior staff aboard. Old Captain Braxton becomes the new captain of the Excelsior. It’s decided to flesh out the rest of the Excelsior’s senior staff with characters from other shows, as they don’t have enough money to hire Trek characters.
- Episode 8: “A Recruiting We Will Go, Part III”
- The Braxton Bunch hire Dark Helmet, Hawk, Yoda, Inspector Gadget, Dr. Frankenstein, and Harvey the Wonder Hamster as their crew, and Galvatron shows up to take the job of “guy who stands in the background laughing maniacally.” The Mysterious Red Button once again tries to get Sulu to push him.
- Episode 9: “The Beautiful Candy-Like Button”
- The Excelsior arrives to battle the Relativity, but the Braxton Bunch’s ship is easily overpowered. However, just when the Relativity crew is about to apprehend the Braxton Bunch, Gul Dukat pushed the Mysterious Red Button, causing the ship to vanish.
- Episode 10: “2D, Or Not 2D?”
- Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button are thrown in the Relativity’s brig, and it is revealed that the ship is now in the Star Trek animated series universe. Meanwhile, in order to be more successful in their next encounter with Captain Braxton, the Excelsior crew buys new shields from Crazy Khan’s House of Shields.
- Episode 11: “The Haunting of the Deck the Brig is On”
- Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button trick Captain Braxton into freeing them by pretending they are ghosts and threatening to haunt the brig until they are let go. The Excelsior crew, not knowing where the Relativity got off to, decide to go back in time to stop Captain Kirk from bringing back two humpback whales to the future. The animated series universe’s Kirk tells the Relativity crew how to return to the real universe: By pushing the Not-So-Mysterious Blue Button.
- Episode 12: “Who Wants to Be Politically Incorrect?”
- The Relativity returns to an altered 29th Century that is overrun by Avon-selling Borg. Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button plot to leave the ship in a shuttlecraft. The Excelsior arrives in the 20th Century and sinks the Bounty.
- Episode 13: “In the Shadow of Earth”
- Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button steal the Enterprise-Z. Young Psycho Braxton and Old Psycho Braxton hatch a plot to seize the Excelsior from Old Captain Braxton. The Relativity arrives at the 20th Century and fights the Excelsior to a draw before proceeding to try to fix the timeline.
- Episode 14: “Untitled”
- The Relativity crew prepares to save the Bounty, but Jadzia’s stupidity causes her to send the ship to the original sailing ship instead of the Bird-of-Prey. Galvatron discovers Old Psycho Braxton’s plan to flood the ship with clones of himself.
- Episode 15: “Send in the Braxtons!”
- Galvatron agrees to keep Old Psycho Braxton’s plan a secret. Gul Dukat and Mysterious Red Button set a course for Bajor to release the pah-wraiths. The Relativity returns to the 20th Century to save the Bounty. Old Psycho Braxton unleashes his plan.
- Episode 16: “A Dish Best Served Stale...”
- Kes uses her superpowers to save the Bounty. The Relativity returns to the 29th Century with the disabled Excelsior in tow, only to find the galaxy taken over by Romulan mimes. A quick trip back to the 20th Century to give Khan a picture of Chekov and a copy of Moby Dick fixes the problem. Old Captain Braxton, Young Psycho Braxton, and Old Psycho Braxton are all merged into Evil Braxton. The Excelsior crew is imprisoned.
- Episode 17: “Buttons and Blithering Buffoons, Part I”
- Captain Braxton decides to hunt down Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button, who have now made their way to Bajor.
- Episode 18: “Buttons and Blithering Buffoons, Part II”
- Gul Dukat and the Mysterious Red Button download the e-Book of the Kosst Amojan to release the pah-wraiths, but are stopped by the Relativity crew. The Mysterious Red Button is destroyed when it orders Gul Dukat to shove it into the pah-wraith pit in an attempt to make it look like it jumped in after the e-Book.
- Episode 19: “A Pair O’ Docs, Part I”
- Future Doctor finds the Relativity, and convinces Captain Braxton to help him set up the time loop that will result in the 31st Century “Living Witness” Doctor becoming the ship’s chief medical officer. To that end, Future Doctor and Captain Braxton travel back to 24th Century Voyager to drop off a holomatrix storage device, which will allow Janeway to create a backup of her time’s Doctor.
- Episode 20: “A Pair O’ Docs, Part II”
- The Relativity travels to the 31st Century to pick up the “Living Witness” Doctor, and Future Doctor reveals that the Federation will be destroyed if the Excelsior crew escapes. Meanwhile, Gul Dukat joins the Excelsior crew, Inspector Gadget having been launched into Borg space because he was mistaken to be a Borg drone. After dropping off the “Living Witness” Doctor in the past, the ship returns to the prison to keep watch over the Excelsior crew.
- Episode 21: “Dax Evasion, Part I”
- The Doctor reunites Jadzia with the Dax symbiont, but the reunion makes it able for the Trill IRS to arrest her for failure to pay her taxes 500 years ago, and she is thrown in prison with the Excelsior crew. Ducane notes that Braxton seems to be getting smarter. The Relativity travels to 24th Century Deep Space Nine to attempt to pay Dax’s taxes.
- Episode 22: “Dax Evasion, Part II”
- Braxton attempts to pay Dax’s taxes by having Kes use her superpowers to cheat at gambling at Quark’s Bar, but an unexpected convention of nearly-omnipotent beings makes that impossible, so Kes just uses her powers to make some money, cutting the episode short. Evil Braxton begins to wonder at Captain Braxton’s slow increase in brain power.
And that’s the story so far...
Next time on Star Trek: Series ?, the season finale commences as Evil Braxton sets his evil plan in motion!