Deep in the heart of the Plah D’Viz, Braxton stood around in the dark waiting for his last visitor. He didn’t have to wait long.
A figure dressed in a black robe carrying a scythe stepped out of the darkness.
Braxton, shocked by the figure, took a step back. “Are you the Ghost of Christmas Future?”
“No, I am not the Ghost of Christmas Future. I am what you fear most.”
“Uhm... Evil Braxton?”
“Barney the Dinosaur?”
“Well, that’s pretty scary, but no.”
“Who could possibly be scarier than any of those three?”
The figure removed its black hood.
Braxton began screaming...
Meanwhile, the Founder and Mini-Weyoun had assembled an even larger fleet comprised of even bigger and meaner warships. The Founder cackled evilly. “At last, I will destroy the Federation ship!”
Mini-Weyoun sighed. “Excuse me, Founder, but is it really necessary to destroy that ship? I mean, it doesn’t appear to be doing much except orbit that thing. And besides, isn’t destroying things, well, not happy or fun?”
“It’s happy and fun to me, Mini-Weyoun! I’ll destroy that ship and have that device all to myself!”
The Excelsior crew went about repairing the damage from the last Happy Fun Dominion attack. Sulu sat in his seat just looking at the Plah D’Viz on the viewscreen. Ducane came over and sat beside him. “Wondering how long Braxton will be?”
“Yes I am! I want this pedantic pseudo-drama to be over with! I want us to go back to our pointless wacky adventures!”
“Well, since we’ve run out of Fates to name episodes after, I think this arc ends with this episode.”
“Well, it’s about time!”
“No, that’s the next episode.”
Yar came in and reported to Sulu. “Sir, we’ve restored power to all systems. But I think we’d better get out of here before the Happy Fun Dominion comes back with even more of those really ugly pink ships...”
“We’ll get out of here just as soon as Braxton’s done, Yar. I just hope that’s soon...”
Meanwhile, Braxton was still screaming his head off. And with good reason: The face under the hood was none other than Wesley Crusher!
Crusher laughed evilly. “At long last, I am back on Star Trek! Hahahahaha!”
Braxton shirked in horror. “A whole episode with Wesley Crusher as a guest-star? Is there no end to my torment?!?!”
“And you can’t get rid of me, either! We still have the entire future part of your timeloop to cover!”
Braxton thought for a few seconds. “Wait a minute... If we’re discussing a timeloop, then the future is the past, and we’ve already gone over it! There’s no need for you! Hahahaha!”
Crusher stopped laughing. “Egads! You’re right! I, the boy genius of TNG, outwitted by Braxton? What is this universe coming to?”
And with that, Crusher vanished.
Seconds later, the alien figure that first appeared on the Excelsior materialized. “Captain Braxton, you have been shown the reasons behind the timeloop you wish to break. Do you understand these reasons?”
“Enough to know that Ducane will be paying a visit to Sickbay shortly after I get back to my ship...”
“Very well. Then your wish shall be granted. Let the tapestry of time be rewoven!”
Sulu was still watching the Plah D’Viz when it began to glow. Sulu turned to Dax. “Dax, what’s going on?”
Dax checked the scanners. “A massive buildup of temporal energy. It corresponds roughly with the theoretical values I calculated for the Plah D’Viz’s ability to eliminate paradoxes. It is currently generating a Level 10 temporal field... A Level 20 field... A Level 30 field...”
Sulu punched a few buttons on his console. The Excelsior started to slowly back away from the Plah D’Viz.
Dax continued to rattle off numbers as the Plah D’Viz continued to charge itself. “Level 60... Level 70... Level 80...”
The Happy Fun Dominion fleet, on its way to fight the Excelsior, also was monitoring the buildup of power. Mini-Weyoun was watching the readings on his mini-headset. “I’m currently reading a Level 100 temporal field being generated from the device, Founder.”
“Level 100? Impossible! Nothing can generate a temporal field that powerful!”
“This thing apparently can...”
“I must have it! I will be neither happy nor fun until it is mine! Increase speed!”
Inside the Plah D’Viz, the blackness had been replaced with almost blinding white. Captain Braxton stood before Old Captain Braxton, Young Psycho Braxton, Old Psycho Braxton and Evil Braxton. The four, sneering at their counterpart, suddenly started to unravel as the tapestry of time was unwoven. When they were completely gone, Braxton could almost see the threads of fate being rewoven into a new configuration, but not quite. The blinding light subsided, leaving Braxton back in the darkness with the alien figure.
Braxton smiled. “I’m free?”
Braxton laughed happily. “I’m free! I’m free! Thank you!”
The figure, however, was quite grim. “There’s still one more thing for you to do, Captain Braxton...”
Braxton’s smile left him. “I know.”
The figure waved its hand, and Braxton disappeared.
Sulu watched as the Plah D’Viz ceased to glow. “Dax?”
Dax continued to monitor the situation. “The good news is that power levels have returned to their previous level.”
“And the bad news?”
“About 200 Happy Fun Dominion ships have just entered sensor range. ETA in 10 minutes.”
Braxton suddenly appeared on the Excelsior bridge. Everyone stood in anticipation of his news. Braxton smiled. “I’m free, guys! I’m free!”
Everybody cheered, but Braxton quieted them down immediately. “Yar, lock all weapons on the Plah D’Viz and fire!”
Sulu objected. “Excuse me, but have you forgotten that I...”
“Sulu, we don’t have time for your pedantic ego right now! The Plah D’Viz has no self-destruct sequence, so we have to destroy it before it falls into the hands of the Dominion!”
“But if we stick around to destroy it, there’ll be no hope of us escaping from the Dominion fleet ourselves!”
“Think about what will happen if the Dominion gets a hold of this sort of technology!”
Sulu thought for a second. He turned to Yar. “You heard the captain... Blow it up.”
The Excelsior started firing all its weapons. Even though said weapons were relatively pathetic, they did massive damage with the Plah D’Viz’s shields down.
Dax monitored the damage. “Direct hit. I estimate it will explode in less than a minute.”
The ugly pink ships of the Happy Fun Dominion dropped out of hyperwarp. The Founder’s face came onscreen. “You destroyed my prize! You jerks! You’ll pay for this! Mini-Weyoun... Wipe them out... All of them!”
Before the ships could fire, the Excelsior lurched forward, accelerating to unheard-of speeds. The Dominion fleet was quickly left behind. Behind them, the Plah D’Viz detonated in a spectacular explosion (again, you’ll have to use your imagination).
The ship finally came to rest. Sulu collapsed in his seat. “What the heck just happened?”
Dax answered. “Just before the Plah D’Viz exploded, it used a burst of temporal energy to accelerate us to transhyperwarp speeds. We are now... Right in front of the Gamma Quadrant end of the Bajoran wormhole...”
Sulu nodded. “I see. Well, I see no reason to delay any longer. Let’s go home...”
And so, the Excelsior entered the wormhole as Ducane’s screams of pain began to sound through the ship...
Next time on Star Trek: Series ?, things start getting back to normal! (If “normal” is indeed the right word...)