Previously, on Star Trek: Series ?...
From “It’s About Time!":
Dukat pushed a few buttons on his console. An image came onto the viewscreen. It was a ship. But not the outside of a ship. The Excelsior was trapped inside another ship!
“Just as I feared... I knew we hadn’t seen the last of them...”
From “sdrawroF dna sdrawkcaB":
“No, it is great! When you go back in time, you can warn everyone about the coming apocalypse!”
And now, the continuation...
The new, sleek, and finally completed Relativity floated in space right outside Starbase 47. The senior staff looked at it through several huge windows from inside the space station. Even the disembodied head of Admiral Picard was present, and he was (quite grudgingly) impressed with the new ship.
Captain Braxton turned to Ducane. “Mr. Ducane, the champagne, please.”
“Uh, sir? I couldn’t find any champagne.”
“You couldn’t find any champagne?”
“No, sir. Admiral Picard has some, but he wouldn’t let us use it.”
Braxton turned to Picard. “You won’t let us use it? Why not?”
Picard rolled his eyes. “Because I don’t like you, Braxton. Duh.”
“Ugh. Did you find anything to christen the ship with, Ducane?”
“Well, I did find this bottle of Mello Yello that’s quite old.”
“Good enough. Throw it at the ship.”
Ducane threw the bottle of Mello Yello out an adjacent airlock at the Relativity. It went floating through space for a while ala the beginning of Star Trek: Generations and then struck the ship. It promptly bounced off.
Braxton was dumbfounded. “It bounced off? Ducane, what was that bottle made out of?”
“Plastic?!?! You do know that the bottle is supposed to break, don’t you?”
“Well, yes, but wouldn’t that be a waste of perfectly good Mello Yello?”
“I suppose you’re right. Send someone to retrieve it from space.”
The new ship then docked with the station. Braxton went running towards the airlock, yelling, “I call dibs on the captain’s quarters!”
Picard yelled after him, “You idiot! You don’t need to call dibs on them, you’re the captain!” But Braxton was long gone.
With Braxton gone, Ducane finished the ceremony. “Uh... I dub thee the Relativity-H, the eighth or ninth starship to bear the name.”
Admiral Picard nodded. “Good, now that that’s over, go get those evil Excelsior guys!”
Several minutes later, the ship was boarded. The senior staff arrived on the bridge and took their positions. Captain Braxton settled down in his new chair. “All we all ready to go?”
Ducane responded, “Yes, sir.”
“We’re not missing anything? We’re not going to get into a crisis and find that we’re missing something that’s not going to be here until Tuesday, are we?”
“No, sir. We’re fully stocked and prepared for anything.”
“Excellent. Mr. Sulu...”
“Right. Captain Sulu, take us out.”
“Take us out where?”
“Uh... After the Excelsior?”
“We don’t know where they went, sir.”
“Hmm... That does present a problem, doesn’t it?”
Yar’s console started beeping. “Sir, there’s a transmission coming in. It’s Admiral Picard.”
The disembodied admiral came onscreen. “Braxton! I’ve got something for you!”
“Something? For me? That’s awfully nice, Admiral. I didn’t know you cared.”
“It’s not a present, you fool! Watch this! It’s footage from one of our bases in the Delta Quadrant!”
Picard was replaced by a picture of space. Suddenly, a ship appeared out of warp and started firing towards the camera. But it wasn’t just any ship. It was...
Picard came back onscreen. “Indeed. The ship apparently came out of nowhere, attacked the base, and then just left. I think that’s where you need to start your hunt. Picard out.”
Braxton grinned wickedly. “You heard the man, Sulu! The chase is at hand!”
It was only going to take a little while to reach the base, so Captain Braxton made sure the ship was ready for the inevitable confrontation. “Yar, can we expect much resistance from the Excelsior?”
“I doubt it. Remember, sir, they have really pathetic weaponry and a really pathetic warp drive. They can’t hurt us and they can’t run away. Our paradox torpedoes will make short work of them.”
“The latest in offensive technology, sir. Upon impact, the torpedo jumps backward an infintesimal amount of time into the exact space it occupied then. The result of being in the exact same place at the exact same time makes a really big boom.”
The Relativity soon dropped out of hyperwarp in orbit around the attacked base. Dax immediately checked the scanners. “Sir, I’m detecting the Excelsior!”
“A few light-years away. It seems like it’s heavily damaged.”
“If those idiots have unleashed another bunch of extradimensional nearly-unstoppable aliens, I’m going to be very angry.”
Minutes later, they reached the coordinates Dax gave. Sure enough, the Excelsior was there. But...
Braxton looked at the ship. “That’s odd. It doesn’t look damaged.”
A voice came over the comm system. “Correct, Captain Braxton. You’ve fallen into our trap exactly as planned...”
The Excelsior powered up its systems. After a few seconds, Braxton recognized the voice. “Janeway?”
The Excelsior’s bridge came onscreen. Sure enough, the evil crew of the evil ship was being commanded by none other than Admiral Janeway. “Indeed, Braxton. After all the times you’ve made me miserable, now it’s time for some payback!”
“Give it up, Janeway. You can’t beat us with that ship!”
“Oh yeah? Mr. Hawk... fire!”
The evil ship let loose a barrage of equally evil torpedoes. Instead of striking the Relativity’s shields, they passed right through and knocked the ship for a loop.
Braxton, who had been thrown to the floor, stumbled back to his seat. “Wait a minute... That ship can’t do that! What the heck is going on?”
Janeway smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know...”
“Yes, I would like to know.”
“Well... Okay. Got time for a flashback?”
“There’s always time for a flashback.”
“Okay, one flashback coming up...”
A while earlier, a little bit after the episode “It’s About Time!", the evil Excelsior was still in the grip of whatever had it. The evil crew had tried everything in their power to free themselves, but to no avail. So, they decided to pass the time in the only manner they could: They painted a bullseye on the Apocalypse Box and then tried to shoot it from the other end of a hallway.
Needless to say, the Apocalypse Box was not happy. “Needless to say, I’m not happy!”
From the other end of the hallway, Valtane shouted, “Who cares? Now that we’re not in the Babylon 5 universe anymore, you’re completely useless! The only thing you’re good for is target practice!”
Valtane then took aim with his phaser and fired a few shots. One of them struck the Apocalypse Box, knocking it off its pedestal. Zathras, who was not one of those shooting, went over and set it back up. The Apocalypse Box was quite dazed from the blast. “I think I’ve got a headache, which is strange considering I don’t have a head...”
“Zathras thinks situation could be worse. Crew could be shooting Box with stronger phaser settings.”
“I’d rather they not shoot at me at all. Besides, you’re not much more use here than I am. How long before they start using you for target practice?”
The crew’s wicked fun was interupted by the Excelsior’s computer. I think you all had better get to my bridge. Now.
Janeway rolled her eyes. “And why is that?”
Remember that giant ship that I’m stuck inside?
Well, I think it’s opening up...
“Yikes! Everyone, the fun’s over! Everyone get to the bridge!”
And so, the senior staff left in a hurry, leaving Zathras to take the Apocalypse Box back to his quarters.
On the bridge, the senior staff turned on the viewscreen. Sure enough, the ship they were inside had opened up somewhat. Not enough for them to escape, but enough to see where they were.
Rand squinted at the screen. “What is that, some kind of wormhole?”
Valtane shook his head. “I don’t think wormholes are orange. Well, maybe that one in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but I don’t think that one counts.”
Janeway was grim as her fears were realized. “That’s no wormhole, Valtane. That’s a subspace corridor.”
Before anyone could ask what a subspace corridor was, they turned around one of the corridor’s bends. Their final destination came into view. A huge space where hundreds of corridors connected. In this space, there was actually a planet. And around the planet were thousands upon thousands of warships. Their prison opened the rest of the way up, and the evil Excelsior coasted out into the midst of the armada.
Dark Helmet turned to Janeway. “You seem to know what’s going on, Admiral. Would you mind filling us in?”
“A dangling plot thread, Mr. Helmet. A very large dangling plot thread.”
Before Janeway could elaborate, the entire senior staff disappeared once again in orange flashes of light. They reappeared in a prison cell. Yoda threw up his hands. “Great this is! Back in a prison cell are we!”
Footsteps could be heard. Three figures approached the cell’s forcefield barrier. Janeway approached the barrier from the other side. “Well well well. After all this time, the Vaadwaur have finally come for their revenge against me...”
The rest of the evil crew all asked the same question at once. “The who?”
“The Vaadwaur. One thousand years ago they ruled the Delta Quadrant by using these subspace corridors for travel. Then their subjects revolted and destroyed almost all the Vaadwaur, except for some that were left in stasis for 500 years. That idiot Seven of Nine woke them up, and they tried to take over my ship to restart their empire. They failed, but a whole bunch of their ships got away. I see they’ve been busy in the meantime...”
The lead Vaadwaur nodded. “Indeed we have, Captain Janeway...”
“It’s Admiral Janeway now.”
Doing his best Khan impression, the Vaadwaur pondered that for a few seconds. “Admiral... Admiral... Anyway, yes, we have been busy. We were extremely fortunate after our dealings with you 500 years ago.”
“Yes. Can we do a flashback?”
“I don’t know. Aren’t we already in a flashback?”
“Yes, but is there some law that says you can’t do a flashback in a flashback?”
“I suppose not.”
“Okay then. Flashback time!”
Five hundred years earlier, the Vaadwaur fighters had entered the subspace corridors. However, they had no idea where to go. They were weak now, easy prey. Suddenly, the lead ship recieved a transmission. A shadowy figure appeared onscreen. “Take a right up here.”
“I said take a right up here.”
“Who are you?”
“Never mind that right now. Take a right now.”
Having nothing to lose, the pilot turned right. All the ships behind him did so as well. They nearly ran into a planet that had gotten lodged where hundreds of corridors met. The figure said, “This planet can serve as your new homeworld, where you can hide until you are strong enough to retake what is yours. I can point out star systems that you can mine resources from to rebuild your armadas without fear of being seen. I can provide you with technology that will make you unbeatable.”
“And in exchange for all this...?”
“All I ask now is that you wait.”
“I see... Very well. But who are you?”
The figure mearly cackled and then vanished.
Janeway nodded. “Yes, how fortunate for you. Well, get whatever you’ve got planned for me over with.”
“You misunderstand your reason for being here, Admiral. I am Gorei, leader of the Vaadwaur. I brought you and the Excelsior crew here because we require your expertise.”
“Yes. We knew that all of you had been captured by the Federation. We knew that you are among the worst criminals the Federation has ever seen. We need that. The time for our ascension has come. We will unleash our forces upon the Delta Quadrant, and then the entire galaxy! But the Federation has become very strong, even in the Delta Quadrant. We want you to go back in time and sabotage history so that we have a better shot of winning this war.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then you all die.”
“Let me think about this for a second... Okay, we’ll do it!”
“Excellent. Of course, we’ll upgrade your ship’s technology in case you run into any resistance. We’ll give you subspace torpedoes that can penetrate shielding, and we’ll upgrade your ship’s engines so that you can enter the corridors whenever you like. But we will place an observer on your ship who will make sure you are pursuing our interests.”
“And who’s that?”
A fourth figure emerged from the darkness. Gorei introduced him. “Welcome Zo’or, Leader of the Taelon Synod from Earth: Final Conflict!”
Sure enough, it was the Taelon. Dukat stepped forward and shook his finger at Zo’or. “Wait a minute... Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”
Zo’or glared at Dukat. “No.”
“And aren’t you supposed to be a...”
“No. The season that came after Season 4, which shall remain nameless, was so horrible that it simply didn’t happen. Therefore, I am still alive and still a Taelon.”
“Wow. Denial sure is a powerful thing.”
“Yes, it is.”
“And would you stop it with the silly hand gestures?”
“What silly hand gestures?”
Janeway interrupted. “As pointless as this conversation is, let’s get back to the issue at hand. We accept your terms, but with one stipulation.”
Gorei raised an eyebrow in true Vulcan fashion. “And that is?”
“I think I speak for our entire crew when I say that we want revenge on Captain Braxton! Besides, he’ll stand in the way of our mission! Let us use the upgraded Excelsior to destroy him!”
“Hmm... So be it.”
“And that’s what’s going on.”
Captain Braxton was stunned. “So... If that’s true, where are your new friends?”
Janeway smirked evilly. “Right here.”
On cue, hundreds of Vaadwaur warships jumped out of the subspace corridors behind the Excelsior.
“Say goodbye to the universe, Captain Braxton...”
To Be Continued...
Will the Relativity be destroyed? Will the Vaadwaur conquer the galaxy? You’ll just have to wait until Part II for the answers...