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What if Dr. Seuss Wrote for The Next Generation?

Written by Unknown

PICARD: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far?

DATA: Our ship can get there very fast. But still the trip will last and last. We'll have two days 'til we arrive. But can the Indrians there survive?

PICARD: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LAFORGE: But, sir, the engines are offline!

PICARD: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so!

RIKER: But sir, if Geordi says we can't. We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't, the danger here is far too great!

PICARD: But surely we must not be late!

TROI: I'm sensing anger and great ire.

COMPUTER: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

PICARD: The ship's on fire? How could this be? Who lit the fire?

RIKER: Not me.

WORF: Not me.

PICARD: Computer, how long til we die?

COMPUTER: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

DATA: May I suggest a course to take? We could, I think, quite safely make. Extinguishers from tractor beams. And stop the fire, or so it seems...

LAFORGE: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day! Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

PICARD: Mr. Data, thank you much. You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

TROI: We still must save the Indrian planet.

DATA: Which (by the way) is made of granite...

PICARD: Enough, you android. Please desist. We understand — we get your gist. But can we get our ship to go? Please, make it so, please make it so.

LAFORGE: There's sabotage among the wires. And that's what started all the fires.

RIKER: We have a saboteur? Oh, no! We need to go! We need to go!

TROI: We must seek out the traitor spy. And lock him up and ask him why?

WORF: Ask him why? How sentimental. I say give him problems dental.

TROI: Are any Romulan ships around? Have scanners said that they've been found? Or is it Borg or some new threat we haven't even heard of yet? I sense no malice in this crew. Now what are we supposed to do?

CRUSHER: Captain, please, the Indrans need us. They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!" I can't just sit and let them die! A doctor must attempt — must try!

PICARD: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

CRUSHER: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK. HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

WORF: The saboteur is in the brig. He's very strong and very big. I had my phaser set on stun — A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one! He would not budge, he would not fall. He would not stun, no, not at all! He changed into a stranger form. All soft and purple, round and warm.

PICARD: Did you see this, Mr. Worf? Did you see this creature morph?

WORF: I did and then I beat him fairly. Hit him on the jaw — quite squarely.

RIKER: My commendations, Klingon friend! Our troubles now are at an end!

CRUSHER: Now let's get our ship to fly. And orbit yonder Indrian sky!

PICARD: LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

LAFORGE: Yes, sir, we can.

PICARD: Then make it so!

This page was last modified on Friday, February 08, 2008.