Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

What collection of Star Trek resources would be complete without a list of the Rules of Acquisition? Found in this list are the 85 canon and official rules, plus a handful of other quotes that could have been rules. (This list does not include the complete reference including the 47 commentaries, 900 major and minor rulings, and 10,000 considered opinions, which is published by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.)

The Official Seal of the Ferengi Alliance

Rules of Acquisition

Official Rules

  1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. (“The Nagus” [DS9], “Heart of Stone” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])
  2. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. (“The Maquis, Part II” [DS9])
  3. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. (“The Nagus” [DS9], “Acquisition” [ENT])
  4. Keep your ears open. (“In the Hands of the Prophets” [DS9])
  5. Small print leads to large risk. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  6. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. (“The Storyteller” [DS9])
  7. Greed is eternal. (“Prophet Motive” [DS9], “False Profits” [VOY])
  8. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  9. A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along. (“Melora” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  10. A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi. (“Body Parts” [DS9])
  11. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. (“Heart of Stone” [DS9], “Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9])
  12. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. (“Meridian” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  13. Never place friendship above profit. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])
  14. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “False Profits” [VOY])
  15. Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money. (“Acquisition” [ENT])
  16. There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  17. Whisper your way to success. (“Treachery, Faith, and the Great River” [DS9])
  18. Never insult a Ferengi’s mother. Insult something he cares about instead. (“The Siege” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  19. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “The Dogs of War” [DS9])
  20. War is good for business. (“Destiny” [DS9], “The Siege of AR-558” [DS9])
  21. Peace is good for business. (“Destiny” [DS9], “The Perfect Mate” [TNG])
  22. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  23. Profit is its own reward. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  24. Never confuse wisdom with luck. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  25. Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than yours. (“Rivals” [DS9])
  26. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9])
  27. Never ask when you can take. (Legends of the Ferengi, “Babel” [DS9])
  28. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them. (“Armageddon Game” [DS9])
  29. There is no substitute for success. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  30. Free advice is seldom cheap. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9])
  31. Keep your lies consistent. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  32. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “Little Green Men” [DS9], “Business as Usual” [DS9])
  33. Win or lose, there’s always Huyperian beetle snuff. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  34. Knowledge equals profit. (“Inside Man” [VOY])
  35. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. (“Civil Defense” [DS9])
  36. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. (“The Homecoming” [DS9])
  37. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  38. The flimsier the product, the higher the price. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  39. Never let the competition know what you’re thinking. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  40. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  41. Females and finances don’t mix. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9], “Profit and Lace” [DS9])
  42. Expand or die. (“False Profits” [VOY], “Acquisition” [ENT]*)
  43. Enough... is never enough. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  44. Every man has his price. (“In the Pale Moonlight” [DS9])
  45. Trust is the biggest liability of all. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  46. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. (“The Jem’Hadar” [DS9])
  47. Sleep can interfere with your lust for latinum. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  48. Faith moves mountains... of inventory. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  49. There is no honor in poverty. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  50. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. (“Rivals” [DS9])
  51. Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them. (“Past Tense, Part I” [DS9], “The Darkness and the Light” [DS9])
  52. Never have sex with the boss’s sister. (“Playing God” [DS9])
  53. Always have sex with the boss. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  54. Everything is for sale, even friendship. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  55. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  56. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead. (“The Siege of AR-558” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  57. Wives serve, brothers inherit. (“Necessary Evil” [DS9])
  58. Only fools pay retail. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  59. There’s nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  60. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  61. Whisper your way to success. (“Treachery, Faith, and the Great River” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)
  62. Know your enemies... but do business with them always. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  63. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  64. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  65. Hear all, trust nothing. (“Call to Arms” [DS9])
  66. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you’re sure you can get away with it. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  67. It’s always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. (“Whispers” [DS9])
  68. The justification for profit is profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  69. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. (“Little Green Men” [DS9])
  70. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])
  71. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them. (“Bar Association” [DS9])
  72. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. (“The Maquis, Part I” [DS9])
  73. You can’t free a fish from water. (“Past Tense, Part I” [DS9])
  74. Always know what you’re buying. (Legends of the Ferengi, “The Abandoned” [DS9])
  75. Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox. (Legends of the Ferengi, “Profit and Loss” [DS9])
  76. Latinum lasts longer than lust. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9])
  77. You can’t buy fate. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  78. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. (“Body Parts” [DS9])
  79. More is good. All is better. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  80. A wife is a luxury. A smart accountant is a necessity. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  81. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  82. Don’t let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum. (“Bar Association” [DS9])
  83. When in doubt, lie. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  84. Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi. (Legends of the Ferengi)
  85. No good deed ever goes unpunished. (“The Collaborator” [DS9], “The Sound of Her Voice” [DS9])

Rule of Acquisition #95 was quoted as Rule #45 in “Acquisition” [ENT].

Unofficial or Uncertain Rules

The unofficial Rules have been quoted on screen, but either were not given a number, not explicitly stated to be a Rule, or were not part of the generally-accepted canon by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.

Bibliography