What collection of Star Trek resources would be complete without a list of the Rules of Acquisition? Found in this list are the 87 canon and official rules, plus a handful of other quotes that could have been rules. (This list does not include the complete reference including the 47 commentaries, 900 major and minor rulings, and 10,000 considered opinions, which is published by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.)

Rules of Acquisition

Official Rules

• Rule 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back. (“The Nagus” [DS9], “Heart of Stone” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])

• Rule 3: Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. (“The Maquis, Part II” [DS9])

• Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. (“The Nagus” [DS9], “Acquisition” [ENT])

• Rule 7: Keep your ears open. (“In the Hands of the Prophets” [DS9])

• Rule 8: Small print leads to large risk. (Legends of the Ferengi, “Parth Ferengi’s Heart Place” [LD])

• Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. (“The Storyteller” [DS9])

• Rule 10: Greed is eternal. (“Prophet Motive” [DS9], “False Profits” [VOY], “Parth Ferengi’s Heart Place” [LD])

• Rule 13: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 16: A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along. (“Melora” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi. (“Body Parts” [DS9])

• Rule 18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. (“Heart of Stone” [DS9], “Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9])

• Rule 19: Satisfaction is not guaranteed. (“Meridian” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])

• Rule 22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “False Profits” [VOY])

• Rule 23: Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money. (“Acquisition” [ENT])

• Rule 27: There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 28: Whisper your way to success. (“Treachery, Faith, and the Great River” [DS9])

• Rule 31: Never insult a Ferengi’s mother. Insult something he cares about instead. (“The Siege” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “The Dogs of War” [DS9])

• Rule 34: War is good for business. (“Destiny” [DS9], “The Siege of AR-558” [DS9])

• Rule 35: Peace is good for business. (“Destiny” [DS9], “The Perfect Mate” [TNG])

• Rule 40: She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 41: Profit is its own reward. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 44: Never confuse wisdom with luck. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 47: Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than yours. (“Rivals” [DS9])

• Rule 48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9])

• Rule 52: Never ask when you can take. (Legends of the Ferengi, “Babel” [DS9])

• Rule 57: Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them. (“Armageddon Game” [DS9])

• Rule 58: There is no substitute for success. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 59: Free advice is seldom cheap. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9])

• Rule 60: Keep your lies consistent. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], “Little Green Men” [DS9], “Business as Usual” [DS9], “Parth Ferengi’s Heart Place” [LD])

• Rule 65: Win or lose, there’s always Huyperian beetle snuff. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit. (“Inside Man” [VOY])

• Rule 75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. (“Civil Defense” [DS9])

• Rule 76: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. (“The Homecoming” [DS9])

• Rule 79: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 82: The flimsier the product, the higher the price. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 85: Never let the competition know what you’re thinking. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 89: Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 91: Your boss is only worth what he pays you. (“Old Friends, New Planets” [LD])

• Rule 94: Females and finances don’t mix. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9], “Profit and Lace” [DS9])

• Rule 95: Expand or die. (“False Profits” [VOY], “Acquisition” [ENT]*)

• Rule 97: Enough... is never enough. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 98: Every man has his price. (“In the Pale Moonlight” [DS9])

• Rule 99: Trust is the biggest liability of all. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 102: Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. (“The Jem’Hadar” [DS9])

• Rule 103: Sleep can interfere with your lust for latinum. (“Rules of Acquisition” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 104: Faith moves mountains... of inventory. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 106: There is no honor in poverty. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 109: Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. (“Rivals” [DS9])

• Rule 111: Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them. (“Past Tense, Part I” [DS9], “The Darkness and the Light” [DS9])

• Rule 112: Never have sex with the boss’s sister. (“Playing God” [DS9])

• Rule 113: Always have sex with the boss. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 121: Everything is for sale, even friendship. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 123: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 125: You can’t make a deal if you’re dead. (“The Siege of AR-558” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit. (“Necessary Evil” [DS9])

• Rule 141: Only fools pay retail. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 144: There’s nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 168: Whisper your way to success. (“Treachery, Faith, and the Great River” [DS9], Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 177: Know your enemies... but do business with them always. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 189: Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 190: Hear all, trust nothing. (“Call to Arms” [DS9])

• Rule 192: Never cheat a Klingon... unless you’re sure you can get away with it. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 194: It’s always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. (“Whispers” [DS9])

• Rule 202: The justification for profit is profit. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 203: New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. (“Little Green Men” [DS9])

• Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9], “First Con-Tact” [PRO])

• Rule 211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them. (“Bar Association” [DS9])

• Rule 214: Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. (“The Maquis, Part I” [DS9])

• Rule 217: You can’t free a fish from water. (“Past Tense, Part I” [DS9])

• Rule 218: Always know what you’re buying. (Legends of the Ferengi, “The Abandoned” [DS9])

• Rule 223: Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox. (Legends of the Ferengi, “Profit and Loss” [DS9])

• Rule 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust. (“Ferengi Love Songs” [DS9])

• Rule 236: You can’t buy fate. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product. (“Body Parts” [DS9])

• Rule 242: More is good. All is better. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 255: A wife is a luxury. A smart accountant is a necessity. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 263: Don’t let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum. (“Bar Association” [DS9])

• Rule 266: When in doubt, lie. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 284: Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi. (Legends of the Ferengi)

• Rule 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished. (“The Collaborator” [DS9], “The Sound of Her Voice” [DS9])

• Rule 289: Shoot first, count profits later. (“Old Friends, New Planets” [LD])

Rule of Acquisition #95 was quoted as Rule #45 in “Acquisition” [ENT].

Unofficial or Uncertain Rules

The unofficial Rules have been quoted on screen, but either were not given a number, not explicitly stated to be a Rule, or were not part of the generally-accepted canon by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.

• Rule 142: Only fools sell wholesale. (See Rule #141)

• Rule 286: When Morn leaves, it’s all over. (“The House of Quark” [DS9])

• Rule 299: After you’ve exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it’s easier to exploit them next time. (“False Profits” [VOY])

• Unknown: Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal. (“The Abandoned” [DS9])

• Unknown: Exploitation begins at home. (“False Profits” [VOY])

• Unknown: Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity. (“Bar Association” [DS9])

• Unknown: If that’s what’s written, that’s what’s written. (“Favor the Bold” [DS9])

• Unknown: A good lie is easier to believe than the truth. (“Shattered” [VOY])

• Unknown: A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. (“Acquisition” [ENT])

Bibliography

• Behr, Ira Steven. The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. New York: Pocket Books, 1995.
• Behr, Ira Steven and Robert Hewitt Wolfe. The Legends of the Ferengi. New York: Pocket Books, 1997.