Scene 1 - The camera watches as the USS Celestial pulls up to one of Deep Space 9’s upper docking pylons.
Righteous (voiceover) - Captain’s log, stardate 436136.2. That five digit stardate system can just bite me. I like this one better, and so does Admiral Spot. Now all ships have to use it. Go me! Anyway, after a week of traveling, we’ve finally reached Bajor. Fleet Admiral Spot, our boss’s, boss’s, boss’s boss, wants us to patrol the Celestial Temple to make sure the Dominion renegades which may or may not exist don’t try anything stupid... and if they do, I think Admiral Nelix wants us to stop them. Go us!
Camera goes to a docking port, you know those round gear things that spin sideways. A bunch of Starfleet officers walk out, followed by Lieutenant-Commanders Garell, Baque, and Genocide. I should point out that Bajor is now part of the Federation and the Bajoran Militia are now enlisted Starfleet officers... so no more crappy Bajoran pajamas.
Garell (yawning) - I still think you could have slowed us down enough so we arrived around ten o’clock instead of five in the morning.
Baque - I wasn’t flying the ship. You can blame our new night shift helm person.
Genocide - Damn Vulcans and their damn efficiency.
Garell - Let’s go to Quark’s. I have that gambling itch again.
Baque - That’s probably because you didn’t wash your hands after handling his Dabo wheel the last time.
They walk out of range and Captain Righteous walks into the room, looks around happily, and let’s out a sigh. Commander Senseless follows him.
Righteous - Ahhhh... smell that sweet Bajoran air.
Senseless - This is a Cardassian space station, now under Federation administration.
Righteous - But lots and lots of Bajorans live here. I’m going to the temple. Don’t wait up.
Senseless - I’ll just go do your job then.
Righteous (waving at him) - Thank you, Commander!
Senseless rolls his eyes and walks away.
Opening credits.... (hamburger falls on it). Woot, they’re not on YouTube! Go me!
Scene 2 - Commander Senseless walks into Ops. Ezri Dax, Kira Nerys, Julian Bashir, and Captain Sisko are already present. I’m too lazy to go and try to figure out their ranks from books and stuff like that.
Sisko - Ah, Commander. Good to see you again. Please, come in.
They two of them go into Sisko’s office. Sisko orders a Raktijino from the replicator.
Senseless - I’ll just have a black coffee. Does Captain Righteous know you’re back onboard?
Sisko - No, he doesn’t, and I’d like to keep it that way. The Prophets erased most of my memory of the future, but I still remember the past, and I distinctly remember that Righteous Lee was a bit... annoying.
Senseless - He can be. He thinks the Prophets are guiding his life. He even told me once that he re-joined Starfleet under their guidance.
Sisko - Um... there may be more truth in that than you think... (mutters) He wasn’t supposed to remember that...
Senseless - What?
Sisko - You’ll find out soon enough. Best not to worry about it.
Senseless - Yes sir. So... where’s the Defiant?
Sisko - It had an unfortunate run-in with a Bolian transport... we’re waiting on another one.
Senseless - How many is that now?
Sisko - I’ve lost count. So, Admiral Nelix tells me you’re to patrol the wormhole for any sign of Dominion activity?
Senseless - Yeah. Now that the Breen were able to find a way to temporarily incapacitate the Prophets, we need to be more careful. Actually there’s talk of building a Spacedock-type space station to replace DS9. But I doubt it will happen for a few years.
Sisko - So, what’s it like traveling on a Celestial-class ship? I hear you cruise at warp 7?
Senseless - Celestial class? I think it’s actually Opaka class.
Sisko - Well we can’t go around naming warships after a woman of peace now can we? Besides, the only two ships of that class ever created were named “Celestial.”
Senseless - I guess you’re right, but I doubt Lee will stop calling it an Opaka-class ship either way. It was never a warship in his mind.
Sisko - Take it from me, Righteous Lee is one of the dumbest and luckiest people I’ve ever known. He’s not a bad captain once you get used to him.
Senseless - If you say so, sir... If you say so.
Scene 3 - Quark’s bar. Garell has won a load of latinum, much to Quark’s dismay.
Dabo Girl - Dabo!!!
Garell - Heh heh heh.
Quark - Okay! That’s enough! Every time your ship comes here I end up losing profit. Get out!
Odo walks in.
Odo - Quark! I thought there was a Rule of Acquisition that says you should honour your customers.
Quark - Not when they’re taking all your money!
Genocide - Constable, we need to chat.
Odo - Okaay, in my office.
Genocide and Odo go to the security office while Garell and Baque clean out Quark some more.
Genocide - Alright, so you came back from the Great Link last year, right?
Odo - That’s correct.
Genocide - Were there any murmurs of dissent then?
Odo - Not really.
Genocide - Starfleet Intelligence has found out that a radical sect in the Great Link has broken away and more or less reformed the Dominion.
Odo - Really? How come I wasn’t given these reports?
Genocide - Uh... that’s classified. Anyway, this Angry Mean Dominion poses a threat to the Federation like no other. You think the Dominion’s Alpha Quadrant forces were powerful? Imagine what they’ve built up in the Gamma Quadrant in the past couple years.
Odo - The Angry Mean Dominion? A colourful name. What’s the one I helped create called, the Happy Fun Dominion?
Genocide points his finger at him.
Genocide - Don’t make cross-parody references. It’s bad enough we steal jokes from them sometimes.
Odo - Well, I’ll look into this Dominion threat. Still, it’s odd how you came across this information without Starfleet Intelligence telling me first.
Genocide - Best not to worry about it. I’ll be in touch.
Genocide leaves the security office and, not looking where he’s going, trips on the raised doorway, making a loud crashing sound.
Scene 4 - Ops. A No-Name gets a confused look and stares at his console.
No-Name #1 - Uh... Commander Kira? Something is coming through the wormhole.
Kira - Onscreen.
The oval viewscreen activates and shows the wormhole open and a Jem’Hadar battleship come out and head straight for the station.
Kira - Hail them.
Boom, station rocks, sparks. Camera watches as the battleship fires a few shots at the docking ring, then heads away from the station. The camera goes back to ops where everything is at red alert. Senseless and Sisko run out of the office.
Sisko, Senseless - Report!
They look at each other.
Kira - A Jem’Hadar battleship just came out of the wormhole, fired a few shots at us, and left.
Sisko - Are they in weapons range?
Kira - No sir, and they’re not responding to our hails.
Senseless - Contact the Celestial crew and tell them to get back to the ship.
Senseless and a No-Name get into the turbolift.
Senseless - Celestial.
No-Name #2 - Quick! To the idiotmobile!
Scene 4 - The Celestial pulls away from DS9 and jumps to warp. On the bridge... most people are present... sort of.
Righteous - What’s the big deal? All they did was blast a few vacant sections and then leave.
No-Name #2 (at helm) - They’re on a course bearing 214 mark 115: Deep into Federation space.
Senseless - I want to know every system along their path.
Bios - Never mind. There’s only one. The Talos system.
Tener - Isn’t that system off-limits?
Senseless - Yes, it is... do these Jem’Hadar think they can hide from us there?
Righteous - Let’s prove them wrong. Pursuit course, maximum warp!
Center - Captain, it’s forbidden to enter the Talos system.
Righteous rolls his eyes.
Righteous - Priority one communication with Admiral Nelix, please?
A few seconds later, Admiral Nelix appears on the screen, reading a PADD and lapping at some milk.
Nelix - What now? I’m busy.
Righteous - Can we follow a Dominion ship into the Talos system?
Nelix chokes on his milk, rolls over, and falls off the table. Everyone on the bridge looks at each other. A moment later, a distraught looking Nelix climbs back onto the table and into the view of the camera.
Nelix - YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?!?!?! AND WHY!?!
Senseless - A Jem’Hadar battleship came through the wormhole, fired on the station, and is now en route for the Talos system.
Nelix - Do you know how much crap I’d get in if I let you go there!?!
Righteous - A little?
Nelix - Alright, get that ship before it enters the system, but do not enter the Talos system, or you’re officially a renegade ship, and I’ll disavow all knowledge of you.
Righteous - Gotcha. Helm crewman, maximum warp!!!
Camera watches as the ship jumps to warp 9.936 or 9.94 or whatever the top speed ended up as.
Scene 5 - A turbolift stops at the top of Upper Pylon 1 and opens. Lieutenant-Commander Garell, Baque, and Genocide get out and look out the airlock into space.
Genocide - I don’t believe it. They’ve left without us!
Baque - Damn it, I knew that obstinate, cynical, good-for-nothing Vulcan wanted my job!
Then, the turbolift doors open again and Puker and Blavik walk out.
Puker - Damn it, they left without us?!?!
Baque - Wait, Lieutenant Blavik, if you’re here, who is piloting the ship?
Genocide - A better question, who is manning tactical? James?
The turbolift doors open and Tener walks out.
Tener - Hey, where’s the ship?
Garell - Perfect, who else is going to show up?
Blavik - Computer, how many officers of the USS Celestial are onboard the station?
Computer - There are six USS Celestial officers onboard the station.
Garell - Commander Senseless and the Captain have gone after a Dominion ship with a barge full of No-Names and Ensign Center and Lieutenant Bios.
Puker - They’re about the worst combination you can make. Get those two and a monitor together and their productivity drops to less than zero.
Genocide - Well, no use complaining about it.
Baque - Yes, there is. I enjoy complaining about things.
Puker - Me too! Like this one time when this crewman came in bleeding all over the carpet, I complained and complained and eventually he stopped bleeding and I could get back to work. Complaining has its uses.
Odo (comm) - Lieutenant-Commander Genocide, please report to my office.
Genocide - On my way. The rest of you guys, figure out what’s the nearest ship in the area and have them come to DS9. I have a feeling that ship came through to lure the Celestial away from the station.
Scene 6 - Odo’s office. Genocide walks in but Odo is nowhere in sight.
Genocide - Hello—AH!
A hand comes out of nowhere and throws him against the wall. Camera pans around and sees that it is the Section 31 agent that is always being vague and setting things up for future episodes and stuff like that.
Genocide - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!
Agent - I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION!
Genocide - Let go of me!
The agent tightens his grip on Genocide’s throat.
Agent - You’re going to find a way to get the Celestial back, or I swear to God I’ll destroy your precious ship!
Genocide (gagging) - What?
Agent - If that ship enters the Talos system, it will never make it out.
Genocide (turning purple) - But... they’re... chasing... a... Dominion... ship!
Agent - Don’t worry about that ship, it won’t get far. For that matter, a thousand of them wouldn’t get far.
Genocide’s eyes widen, and not because he’s about to lose consciousness.
Genocide (now turning various shades of blue and gray) - You have a fleet in there!
The Agent releases him.
Agent - I see you’re smarter than we give you credit for. Yes, we have a fleet of Starfleet ships being built in the Talos system. A very large fleet, and it’s nearly finished.
Genocide - You’re going to do what the Obsidian Order and the Tal Shiar tried to do!
Agent - Only we’re going to succeed. Reasons, you ask? One, we’ve been very secretive about this. Not even Fleet Admiral Spot or the President knows about it. We’ve been getting all our raw materials from the Gorn and the Orion Syndicate.
Genocide - You’re working with Chester? What’s he getting in return?
Agent - Ships and weapons. How do you think he got his hands on those inversion bombs?
Genocide - You gave him antimatter inversion bombs?!?!
Agent - Relax, they were never armed. He just thought they were. Even that colony he thought he blew up was simply a massive holographic projection and false sensor data. The colony is fine. We’ve been letting him run around and wreak havoc throughout the quadrant to distract everyone.
Genocide - Oh my god, I should have seen it all along. You’ve been lying to me from the start haven’t you?
Agent - You, Logic Man, neither of you could be fully trusted.
Genocide - Oh, not him again...
Agent - Since Dominion ships can’t come through the wormhole—
Genocide - Ah, actually they can. The Breen made sure of that.
Agent - For a while, but then the wormhole fixed itself. They’re stuck back there now. Do you honestly think the Breen could have pulled off something like that without the Prophets involving themselves?
Genocide - So your little speech about Chester being a threat to the Federation was...?
Agent - Chester is a mild nuisance, nothing we can’t control. I just have to blink a certain way and he wakes up dead the next morning. Don’t look so surprised, where did you think he got that Sovereign-class starship he is so fond of nowadays?
Genocide - So when Admiral Nelix was working for Chester, he was actually working for you?
Agent - Ironic, isn’t it? He never really betrayed the Federation, but everyone thinks he did. Anyway, we’re telling you this because there’s no way the Dominion can stop us. We’ve acquired some of those perfect cloaking devices the Remans developed. The Dominion won’t know what hit them. We won’t decloak until we’re sure we’ve found the Changeling homeworld. Then we intend to hunt down every ketracel white facility in the Gamma Quadrant and destroy those as well. Within a month, the Dominion will only be an unpleasant memory. To answer your next question, we’ve installed ablative armour emitters and transphasic torpedo technology in all of our ships. There’s no way the Jem’Hadar can stop us.
Genocide - I could expose you, and then every major power on this side of the galaxy will attack your base.
Agent - Let them. That will just weaken them some more. The Romulans, Cardassians, and Klingons won’t pose a threat for another decade at least. Besides, half our fleet is online already.
Genocide - So what did you do with the inhabitants of Talos IV?
Agent - Killed ‘em. Sent in computer controlled ships and bombarded the planet from orbit. There’s nothing left of it except a cloud of gravel.
The Section 31 agent hits some buttons on Odo’s console.
Agent - Here. Tell your comrades to turn around.
Genocide - Fine.
Captain Righteous and Commander Senseless appear onscreen.
Genocide - Sir and sir, you have to turn around. Don’t follow that ship.
Righteous - Why?
Genocide - Because they’re just leading you away from the station.
Senseless - We already got Admiral Nelix to divert the USS Solaris to protect the station. They should be arriving shortly.
Genocide - Commander, I really think the Celestial should come back... now.
Genocide gives Senseless a weird look, which Senseless obviously understands.
Senseless - Understood, we’ll turn around in a minute. Celestial out.
The channel cuts. Genocide turns back to his mysterious friend.
Genocide - I have a few questions. First, if the Prophets aren’t letting Dominion ships through the wormhole, how did that one get through? Secondly, if there’s “no way they can pose a threat to your plans,” why are you so intent on keeping the Celestial out of that system?
Agent - Need to know basis. We’ll be watching you.
Genocide is about to reply with a snarky remark but the Agent vanishes in a transporter beam.
Scene 7 - Celestial’s bridge. The holographic form of Admiral Spot is watching the Celestial’s viewscreen, which is showing Genocide’s recorded transmission.
Spot - ...Well?
Senseless - That’s the “Keep going but also come back” look he sometimes gets. Bios, configure a remote operated shuttlecraft to emit our warp signature and then find a way to mask ours.
Bios - I’ll get right on it, sir.
Spot - What could be so important in that system that the Dominion is risking total war just to go there? I want you guys to find out. General Order 7 is temporarily rescinded. Spot out.
Spot fizzles out.
Bios - The shuttle is ready.
Righteous - Send it already... sheesh. Helm, resume course as soon as it’s away.
No-Name #2 - Woo hoo! Road trip!!!
Senseless - We’re gonna regret not waiting another few minutes before leaving the station.
Camera watches as the Celestial jumps to warp just as a shuttle does the same heading the other way.
Righteous - How long will this take?
No-Name #4 - About three hours.
Righteous - ...If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my quarters.
Scene 8 - Some random room on DS9. Genocide, Garell, Baque, Blavik, Tener, and Puker are sitting in a circle.
Tener - So... you used to work for Section 31, but then you quit, and now they’re telling you this stuff... why?
Genocide - Beats me. All I know is that if they succeed, they’ll probably start another war, one which we might not win.
Garell - They certainly picked a good solar system to build their fleet in. No one even goes within a dozen lightyears of that place if they have any common sense.
Baque - We sit here and complain about their methods and illegal activities, but what if they’re right? What if the Dominion has split into factions and one of those factions wants to eliminate us?
Genocide - According to my contact, the wormhole is no longer allowing Dominion ships through... again. But the Breen were able to open it once, so it stands to reason the Dominion could do it again.
Kira - Ops to Genocide.
Genocide - Go ahead.
Kira - You wanted to be told when the Solaris arrived. Well, they’re here.
Genocide - Thanks, Genocide out. Alright guys, I have a plan.
Blavik - Does it involve taking the USS Solaris into the Gamma Quadrant to spy on the Dominion?
Puker - Oh god no...
Garell - No, Genocide, Baque, and I will go. The rest of you stay here and inform the Captain and Commander of what we’ve been talking about as soon as they get back.
Genocide - They’re not coming back. They’re continuing on to the Talos system. But you didn’t hear that. You all think they’re coming back. Got it?
Puker - Ah, I get it... intrigue! Mystery! Suspense! Low ratings?
Blavik - What?
Puker - Sorry, I got carried away there for a moment.
Scene 9 - An Ares-class starship (think “Side Effects Include Hallucinations"), the USS Solaris, NCC-81470, pulls into Lower Pylon 1, 2, or 3, I can’t keep track of them anymore. Genocide, Garell, and Baque walk onto the ship literally just as the airlock opens and a Bajoran captain and his Trill first officer are about to walk out.
Captain Ketrell - Woah, what’s the rush?
Genocide - No time to talk, we need to take your ship into the Gamma Quadrant and poke the Dominion with a pointy stick to see if they’re in a biting mood.
Commander Ren - And who the hell are you people?
Genocide - Oh, sorry, I’m Lieutenant-Commander Genocide, the Celestial’s tactical officer, this is Garell and Baque, the chief engineer and helmsman.
Ren - Nice to meet you, now get out of my way!
Ketrell - You’ll have to excuse her, she’s in a pissy mood.
Ren - You try waking up to battle drills three days in a row!
Ketrell - Have you cleared this idea with Starfleet Command?
Genocide - Yes, the Chief of Defence Staff, Fleet Admiral Spot gave us permission.
Baque - She did?
Garell elbows him in the ribs.
Baque - Oof, I mean, she did.
Captain Ketrell gives them a suspicious look but steps aside.
Ketrell - Who am I to argue with the Chief of Defence Staff, but you better have a good reason.
As they enter the ship, they realize it looks very similar to the one Chester made them all imagine being on a few episodes back.
Garell - This is a nice ship.
Ren - Fresh out of the shipyard. Newest ship in the Ninth Fleet.
Garell - Oh, you got stuck in the same fleet as Righteous, Shields, Picard, Farfetched, and Castanea. Sucks to be us all.
Ketrell - Not my first choice...
They enter the bridge. A Bolian helmswoman, a Vulcan science officer, a Tiburonian operations officer, and a human tactical officer all look up from what they’re doing, then go back to work without so much as a smile.
Ketrell - Okay, so scheduling a battle drill every morning at 0500 probably wasn’t that good of an idea.
Ren - Ya think?
Ketrell - Lieutenant Frell, take us into the wormhole, full impulse.
Frell - Aye sir.
Lieutenant Teverin (ops) - Sir, DS9 is asking why we’re leaving.
Ren - Tell them to fuck off and leave us alone.
Ketrell - Yes, but word it a bit more diplomatic.
Teverin - I’ll just tell them we’re going to test out the engines some more.
Sa’lol (science) - Captain, the station is powering all its weapons.
Ketrell - Open a channel!
Lieutenant-Commander Adair (tactical) - Raising shields!
Teverin - Channel open.
Ketrell - This is Captain Ketrell Valen of the USS Solaris, stand down weapons!
Sisko appears on the screen.
Sisko - Captain, what’s going on? Our weapons just activated on their own.
Teverin - Incoming quantum torpedos!
Ren - Get us through the wormhole, now!
The ship puts on a burst of speed and flies through the wormhole just as a blue torpedo detonates right behind them. They come out the other side and come to a halt next to the relay station.
Genocide - What the hell was that all about!?!
Garell and Baque look at him.
Baque - You tell us.
Genocide - Uh... well, we got lucky.
Ketrell points an angry finger at him.
Ketrell - You....... nearly got our new ship damaged....
Sa’lol - Captain, sensor sweeps are done. There’s one shit load of Dominion ships in the Idran system, about 4.7 lightyears from here.
Ren - How many ships constitutes a “shit load”?
Sa’lol - About five thousand. Oh damn they’ve seen us... we’re fucked.
Frell - Might I advise getting the heck out of here before they come to investigate?
Genocide - Not quite yet. We need to check something. Set a course for the Founders’ homeworld. Keep our weapons offline. Besides, I doubt they’ll get too close to the wormhole or face the wrath of the Prophets. Lay in the course.
Ketrell - Are you insane!?!
Baque - A valid question... Commander?
Genocide - I need to gather some intelligence for Section 31.
Adair nearly throws himself out of his chair.
Adair - What!?!?
Genocide - They have built a massive fleet of Starfleet ships and intend to vaporise the Changelings. I need to know which faction is left on that world. If they vaporise the wrong Founders, we could be in for a much bigger fight than they’re expecting.
Ren - This isn’t exactly how I anticipated our first mission to go.
Ketrell - Fine, set a course and keep the weapons powered down, but also keep a very close eye on those five thousand ships parked in the Idran System.
Camera watches as the Solaris jumps to high warp.
Scene 10 - Bridge of the Celestial.
Center - The Dominion ship has entered the Talos system. They’ve dropped to impulse.
Senseless - Red alert. Take us in. Activate the multiphasic shields, maybe they’ll stop some of the natives’ telepathic powers.
No-Name #3 (tactical) - Shields up.
Righteous - So why don’t we stay at warp and drop right in front of them?
No-Name #2 - Oh! Great idea! Wheeeee!
The camera watches as the Celestial drops out of warp just in front of the Jem’Hadar battleship, probably scaring the crap out of them.
Senseless - Lock target on their engines and fire!
No-Name #3 - Their engines are offline... but I’m not sure it was us that did it.
Center - They’re hailing us.
Righteous - Put it up.
A female changeling appears onscreen, being flanked by a Vorta and the Jem’Hadar First.
Changeling - We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but we had to make sure you were going to follow us.
Senseless - What are you doing here?
Changeling - Our intelligence suggested that the Federation was building up a massive fleet in the Talos system. We had to find out if it were true or not.
Righteous - That’s ridiculous. The Federation has better things to do than build lots of ships.
Bios - Uh, captain?
Righteous - Not now, girl who breaks stuff a lot. I’m busy. Ms. Changeling, you know that by firing on a Federation space station you’ve committed an act of aggression and we don’t like it. At all. Not in the least.
Vorta - The attack was mild, there was no damage to your space station. We could have done far worse.
The Jem’Hadar first whispers something to the Changeling.
Changeling - It appears that our fears were justified. We’ll be leaving now.
Center - Their engines are back online and they’ve jumped to warp.
The channel cuts.
Center - They’re heading back to the wormhole.
Bios - Captain! Commander! You really ought to see this.
Senseless - See what?
Bios hits some buttons and the viewscreen changes to show an aft view. In the distance, the outlines of dozens of ships can be seen, and they’re getting bigger.
Righteous - My Prophets...
Senseless - What are they?
Center - According to the transponder signals, they’re Starfleet ships.... lots of them... I’m counting over 500 ships.
Bios - Sovereigns, Galaxys, Akiras, Prometheus, Defiants, Ambassadors... hundreds of them.
Senseless - That fleet probably has enough firepower to take on any major power in any quadrant...
The camera watches as the hundreds of massive ships slowly pass the Celestial, causing so much subspace turbulence in their impulse wakes that it causes the ship to shake slightly.
Senseless - Who built them? Starfleet couldn’t have, or Spot would have known about it.
Bios - Uh, there’s more. Twelve more ships coming out of the system... Flourish class.
Righteous - Isn’t that the class of ship the USS Litterbox is?
No-Name #3 - Just one of those ships has enough firepower to obliterate an entire planet...
No-Name #2 - The ships have gone into warp.
Bios - They’re heading will take them... to Bajor. The sheer number of ships is preventing them from going any faster than warp 5.
Center - At that rate it’ll take them a good week to get there.
Senseless - Helm, set a course for DS9, maximum warp! Ensign, get me Starfleet Command... Admiral Spot and I need to have a chat.
Scene 11 - The USS Solaris drops out of warp near the Founders’ planet. It enters orbit. On the bridge...
Frell - Standard orbit achieved, sir.
Baque - You’re far too cheerful for that job. I give you a year and you’ll be as cynical and distraught as myself.
Ketrell - Commander, prepare an away team. I’ll be leading it.
Ren - Works for me.
Genocide - Shouldn’t you be telling him to stay behind?
Ren - I honestly couldn’t care less.
Ketrell, Adair, Genocide, and Garell leave the room. Once they’re gone, Baque casually walks over to the helm.
Baque - So... think I could take her for a spin?
Frell - Over my dead blue body.
Scene 12 - The four officers materialize on that small rock in the middle of the Great Link. Garell is carrying a bag of stuff.
Ketrell - HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WE’RE HERE TO TALK!!!
A Changeling clumps together and turns solid. She approaches the Starfleet officers.
Changeling - Hello. Why are you here?
Genocide - We need to know your opinion of the Federation and the Alpha Quadrant in general.
Changeling - We have no quarrel with the Federation at this time.
Garell - Well, we don’t feel like taking your word for it, so we brought a friend.
At that, the bag she was carrying turns into Odo.
Odo - Sorry to barge in.
Ketrell and Adair’s eyes go wide, and Odo steps into the Great Link and liquefies.
Adair - Why didn’t you tell us he was coming along?
Garell - We wanted to, but Odo likes to make entrances. I think he likes being the deus ex machina of DS9.
A second later, Odo resolidifies and walks out of the Link.
Odo - She’s telling the truth. These are the good guys.
Changeling - I suppose you want to know where the others went?
Genocide - If it’s not too much trouble.
Changeling - We will not betray our brethren, not matter how our views differ.
Genocide - Would you three excuse us for a moment?
Ketrell - Are you sure?
Genocide - Yes. I’ll beam up in a minute.
Garell, Ketrell, and Adair beam back to the ship. Genocide turns to Odo and the other Changeling.
Genocide - Now you listen and listen carefully. Ever heard of Section 31? They infected your people with a potent virus. Anyway, they don’t like failing. They still consider the Changelings a threat. They’ve built an enormous fleet of ships and are going to do to you what the Obsidian Order and the Tal Shiar failed to do. They’re going to wipe you out. I need to know where your lesser halves have gone. If I can convince them to attack the bad guys, you might just have a chance.
Changeling - We know about the fleet, and what it’s telling us is that the Federation is preparing to declare war on us.
Odo - Section 31 doesn’t exactly represent the interests of the Federation... they just do their dirty work.
Genocide - That fleet can’t be stopped. It doesn’t answer to anyone. I don’t know how they got so many people into Section 31, or how they managed to do this all in secret. For all I know they’ve been working on this since the war. But if you don’t give me something, they’ll wipe you out. All of you. I’m asking you to save your race. Take the fight to someone else. If Section 31 no longer considers you a threat, you’ll be safe. So unless you have a better idea...
Both shape shifters give him a thoughtful look...
Scene 13 - Genocide walks onto the Solaris’ bridge.
Genocide - Take us back to the wormhole.
Ren - Did you figure out who controls those ships in the Idran system?
Genocide - Yes. And it’s not our friends down there on that planet. We need to get back and tell the Alpha Quadrant to prepare for the fight of their lives.
Sa’lol - Oh, to be a Klingon right now...
Scene 14 - The USS Celestial pulls back into DS9. The airlock opens before Baque, Blavik, Puker, and Tener. No-Name #2 runs out practically jumping with joy.
No-Name #2 - Oh yeah! I got to pilot a starship! My friends are gonna be sooo jealous!
He trips on a raised floor thing and hits the wall with enough force to break his neck, killing him instantly. The other four officers turn their gaze back to the airlock where Senseless and Righteous come out. They all start talking at once.
Puker - Fleet! Talos system!
Tener - Section 31 is going to attempt to destroy the Dominion!
Blavik - They can not be allowed to succeed.
Baque - You idiots left without us!
Righteous, Senseless - We know already!
Baque - You do?
Senseless - We ran into that fleet on it’s way here. It’ll reach Bajor in just over a week.
Tener - Oh... Lieutenant-Commander Genocide didn’t tell us that part.
Scene 15 - The camera pans around the station. Several Federation starships are in the vicinity, including the Celestial and Solaris. The camera goes to some random room, where Genocide enters. The Section 31 Agent is already there.
Agent (clapping slowly) - Good work, Nick.
Genocide - Fuck you, you fucking son of a bitch!
Agent - I assume you were told by your peers about our fleet now being in operation.
Genocide - Yes, but you’re going after the wrong planet. You have to stop those ships before they enter the Gamma Quadrant. If you piss off the wrong Founders, you’ll start a war we can’t win. Where do you think all their forces will go once you kill them?
Agent - You still don’t get it do you?
Genocide - I get it better than you think. This has nothing to do with “protecting the Federation.” This is about manifest destiny. You people think the Federation is God’s gift to the Universe. You believe we’re the only way to live, that the Romulans, Klingons, Cardassians, and the Dominion are inherently evil because they’re not one with us. Well you’re wrong. Diversity is a good thing! You want to become like the Borg, don’t you? That’s what you’re doing. By wiping out everything that is a “threat to the Federation,” you’re just turning the entire galaxy into a single entity, with no separate ideas, philosophies, and ways of life. And in some ways, that’s a good thing. There will be no war, no strife, no disease or hardship. But what happens when a race from another galaxy comes and finds the United Federation of Planets, ripe with complacency? What will they be able to do to us, having evolved through hardship for centuries, while we wallowed in our own self-pride? Your way of saving the Federation may only doom us. We don’t need to be the top dog to survive.
(And if that doesn’t drive the point home for you, you’re either really dense, I suck at writing, or you’re a right wing super-patriotic... member of a certain Northern American nation which shall go unnamed.)
Agent - Very touching. But it’s every society’s right to fight to be the best. If the Romulans, Dominion and Klingons can’t come up with the stuff we’re doing, then they deserve to die. Survival of the sickest.
Genocide - We’ll agree to disagree then. Now, let’s make a deal: I’ll give you the coordinates of the bad Dominion’s home system if you stand down all those ships and turn them over to Starfleet Command.
The agent pulls a PADD out from behind him and waves it in the air.
Agent - Too late. You really think we would have just let you go into the Gamma Quadrant if we didn’t want you there? Had we wanted to, those weapons would have blown you out of the sky before you even left the station. Thanks to you, we now have the coordinates of both Changeling worlds. You fell for our trap, hook, line and sinker.
The Agent gets up and leaves the room, leaving Genocide foaming at the mouth and shuddering in rage.
Genocide - I... don’t... like... being... used. God damn it!