Episode 20: “A Pair O’ Docs, Part II”

Written by “Krenim”

Published February 25, 2001

“Captain’s Log: Future Doctor and I have returned to the Relativity after traveling back to the 24th Century to give Captain Janeway a holomatrix storage device. However, Future Doctor has informed me that only set up the first part of the time loop, which will culminate in finally explaining how the ‘Living Witness’ Doctor is aboard our ship.”

Future Doctor walked over to Sulu. “Mr. Sulu, set a course for 31st Century Earth!”

“31st Century Earth, aye.”

Ducane objected. “Now, I realize that we’re setting up an already existent time loop, but traveling into our own future is a big Starfleet no-no.”

Future Doctor smirked. “I understand, Ducane, but this is absolutely necessary. Besides, if everyone obeyed Starfleet protocols all the time, we would never have exciting adventures, and the show would be cancelled.”

And so, the Relativity leapt into the timestream and vanished from the 29th Century...

Meanwhile, back in the Federation Maximum Security Prison, Rand and Valtane were trying to entertain their comrades by singing their theme song.

They’re Rand and Valtane!

They’re Rand and Valtane!

One once got fired,
The other’s a pain!

They’re traveling through time,
Soon we’ll end this stupid rhyme!

They’re Rand, they’re Rand and Valtane, Valtane, Valtane, Valtane, Valtane!

Evil Braxton began screaming. “Make it stop! Make it stop!”

Rand scowled. “Well, do you have a better idea of what we can do while we’re stuck in here?”

“Yeah, we need to think of a way to get out of here! We need to think of a way to get back to our ship!”

Gul Dukat, who was a cell next to the Excelsior’s crew’s cells, spoke up. “I think I have an idea as to how you can get out of here.”

Evil Braxton turned to face him. “Why should we listen to anything you have to say? You’re a member of Captain Braxton’s crew!”

“Not anymore. I kind of forfeited that when I tried to help the Mysterious Red Button destroy the galaxy.”

“Ah... I see your point. Still, why would you help us?”

“Because I want to be your chief engineer! I mean, come on, I’d have to be better than Inspector Gadget.”

“Speaking of Inspector Gadget, where the devil is he? Shouldn’t he have been brought in here with us?”

Rand answered. “They thought he was a Borg drone, so they sent him into Borg space in an escape pod...”

We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.


“Oh, well I guess the position is open. Welcome to my crew! What’s your plan?”

“Well, my plan is that Dark Helmet uses his Schwartz powers to convince the guards to let us back on the Excelsior, where we’ll steal it and cause mayhem and chaos throughout the galaxy!”

“That’s brilliant, Dukat! Bwahahahaha!”

In the corner of his own cell, Galvatron began to sulk. Muttering to himself, he added, “We’ll just see about that. I make you all pay for maniacally laughing when that’s my bit. Mwahahaha!”

The Relativity emerged back in normal space in the 31st Century, in orbit around Earth. The crew stared at the viewscreen. Jadzia was the first one to speak. “Hey, the Earth looks like one of those things... You know, those things from fires...”

Ducane managed to say the word. “A cinder.”

Sure enough, the planet below them had been scorched into oblivion. Future Doctor stood next to the viewscreen. “Welcome to Earth.”

Braxton gasped. “Well, I know I’m not exactly the brightest guy on this ship, but somehow I get the feeling that the fact that Earth will look like a piece of charcoal in only 200 years is a bad thing...”

“Of course it’s a bad thing, you moron! I should know, this is the third time I’ve seen it this way!”

Ducane looked puzzled. “The third time?”

Future Doctor explained. “We just gave Captain Janeway a holomatrix storage device, which will allow her and her crew to make a backup copy of their Doctor, which is me. However, that storage device gets stolen when Voyager gets caught in the middle of a war between the Kyrians and the Vascans. My holomatrix remains inactive for 700 years, until a historian by the name of Quarren reactivates me. After serving as an official there for a while, I decided to set course for the Federation, following the path of Voyager. Unfortunately, when I got back, I found the Federation destroyed. Earth, Vulcan, Betazed, all completely destroyed.”

Braxton shouted. “That’s one! One time! Ha ha ha!” The rest of the crew puzzled as thunder and lightening filled the bridge.

Future Doctor resumed his story. “As I was puzzling over what to do next, a ship appeared. This ship. Aboard was a future version of myself, who told me I had to stop all this from happening. He took me back to the 29th Century, where I became the chief medical officer onboard the Relativity. Unfortunately, I was unable to prevent the disaster from occurring, and so once again, I found myself in a Federation full of dead worlds.”

“That’s two! Two times! Ha ha ha!”

“Shut up, Braxton! Anyway, I went back in time once more, when I met you in the last episode, to set up the entire time loop. Now, we’re going to meet my past self so we can take him back to the past, so he can try to prevent the disaster again.”

Ducane stood up, and pointed at the viewscreen. “If you’ve already tried to stop this disaster from taking place, how do you know your past self, who will eventually become our Doctor, will succeed this time?”

“Because this time, I know exactly what triggers the disaster. I’ll tell my past self, so that your Doctor will know what to do when the time comes.”

“Ah... Then that must be your past self’s ship approaching now.”

Yar checked the scanners. “Confirmed. The ship’s energy signature is Kyrian.”

And so, everything happened as it did before, except that Future Doctor took Past Doctor aside, whispering to him what he had learned from the past time loop. Past Doctor went back to the Relativity’s past via the temporal transporter.

And the time came for Future Doctor to leave. Ducane shook his hand as he stepped onto the temporal transporter pad. “So, Future Doctor, now that you’ve set up the time loop, what are you going to do now?”

As Future Doctor vanished in a blue shimmer, he said, “I’m going to EuroDisneyland!”

Finally, the Relativity made the return trip to the 29th Century. Braxton laughed. “Well, now we know. And knowing is half the battle!”

However, the Doctor walked over and looked down at Braxton. “Sir, I think we should head back to the Federation Maximum Security Prison.”

“And just who do you think you are giving me orders?”

“I think I’m the guy who was told by his future self that the event that triggers the destruction of the Federation is the escape of the Excelsior crew in the very near future.”

“So, what’s your point?”

“So, if we want to save the Federation, we should make sure the Excelsior crew does not escape.”

“Ah... I see your point. Very well. Mr. Sulu...”

“That’s Captain Sulu!”

“Okay... Captain Sulu, set a course for the Federation Maximum Security Prison!”

To Be Continued...

UPN Promo:

Next time on Star Trek: Series ?, while Braxton and the crew stand watch over the evil Excelsior crew, Jadzia gets a new symbiont!